Modern Day Love

Hello loves ❤⚘

I feel like it’s been forever.

No,I didn’t abandon my blog, okay yes, I did think of quitting,not because I don’t love writing..man this is what I live for!!😂

If life wasn’t as it is,I’d probably be in some island in Lyon or Madrid writing a book or something:)…but I was just having a break,let’s just say reflection time and plus, these past semesters have been exhausting!! Juggling between school,family,work,friends,my social life and everything else that comes with growing up😋

******welcome back to my blog*****

Let’s talk about Modern Day Love!!!

What is love? Wait…why are things such as humanity and love overrated? I mean why are they hyped for things they are definitely not? Especially love,lol

Is it a feeling? Like a burning sensation? Or maybe it’s like a zit,something everyone sees and you see it too,even when heaven knows you don’t want to see it. Or is it art? Something pretty awesome but inexplicable? I mean who can define art? Or is it like the fictional or biblical hell that we all know of..once you’re in it,you’re destined to get burnt? <<<<<yes guys I know how to use your and you’re 😂😋😂

Anyways Idk,people talk of butterflies in their tummy when they are in love but hey…I think we’ve all felt butterflies a couple of times…job interviews,class presentations..that very first time meeting y’know??

Truth is,being in love is waaaaay beyond my vocabulary…I wish I could explain😂

But I think I’m in love with the phone booth era love,I mean saving up coins just to call your significant other at a particular time….eeey that was the real deal! Leave alone our storo bonus era, Loooord!!! Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong generation..But hey,we all make up the society don’t we??

But I think modern day love is rather complicated simply because most of us come from broken homes..Marriages that were once our goals (our parents of course ) end, so we tend not to commit because we believe there’s no happy ever after…we end up being careful, rather extra careful with love.

We end up being scared of titles,so most of us suffer from “almost relationships” cause once someone is your girlfriend or boyfriend things change…hanging out with other people is cheating,not texting all th time is a crime,not going for fancy dates is wrong…lol <I think nap dates should be a thing,bring your pj’s,come over,let’s cuddle and sleep…that’s my ideal date cause honestly I’d rather be with the person I love in my most comfortable place,my bed>

Modern day love is funny,cause you can talk to someone for weeks then suddenly the spark ends and you never hear from them again..they leave..cause no one wants to feel too much,no one wants to commit,it’s like a hit and run sequel. No one wants to admit they want something real,that they actually like someone they’ve been talking to or seeing,everyone is out here acting emotionless…me included.

Love is a beautiful thing and I don’t think the society we live in should influence how we want to express and explore our love,my opinion…feel free to dm me your opinions.

Anyways,because of this perception of love,most of us are surrounded by almost relationships.why? Cause it doesn’t take much effort,you can have multiple ‘almost relationships’ and you can flirt with multiple people at the same time and not be obliged to any commitment…modern day love guys…modern day love! Sad.

UNCOVER

Have you ever felt total darkness?
Like you don't feel any emotions..and you don't want any of it..
You just want to be alone cause everyone else seems to be in a good place but you are not there yet and can't seem to ever get there or one minute  you're there and the next minute its all gone,and you can't talk it  all out cause the 'talking to someone about it'part kinda seems outrageous to you...
Well I've been in a dark place...
And I guess writing kinda makes a little pain go away,the void still very empty but atleast the feeling of choking kinda fades away for sometime before it consumes you again and feel suffocated around everyone.
It's a deep feeling that you get used to cause being a loner makes you keep things to yourself.
Truth be told,I don't know why I'm writing this...but I guess someone out there needs to read this,so do share..tell a friend to tell a friend,yeah? Anyway,this is what I do when I feel suffocated.At times you want <someone> to be there for you at the end of the dark tunnel or when you're in your dark place but that someone isn't there...but also the thought of having someone at the end of the tunnel freaks you out cause you're scared your demons and troubles will draw you apart.Yes,everyone has their own demons to deal with..but shit happens..
Some people don't trust easily neither do they want to love easily...and they are also hard to love...but I guess most of us just want someone to lean on when we are down,someone to love and call our own...or simply someone to post pictures of and with,lol...but its also difficult to keep this kind of love when the thought of messing things up is always in your mind,don't you think?
If you are having those dark days...
It's okay
It's okay to feel darkness.
Sometimes I feel like if I start crying,I won't stop..so I try to find light through writing..
But how  can I leverage the pain...darkness..I mean life can be pretty shitty..y'all know that feeling..but its also okay to feel that people won't understand. but pretending that the pain isn't there doesn't help..maybe its depression.Use your pain for growth.
Well I embrace my darkness and write..You can also embrace your darkness and write,sing,dance..just don't result to liquor or suicidal thoughts...Embrace the darkness so you can free yourself..Its like a headache,that is temporary..and will pass.
In as much as you know darkness,you also know good,light,laughter,friends,good food,ice cream..smiles,good music....love!  THAT'S YOUR LEVERAGE!

Same Script,Different Cast..

I don’t want an easy love,I don’t want a love that is structured and fake,one-sided unrequited love and boring that will only lead to a modern break up.When cupid  finally strikes,I want something messy,complicated,real,inexplicable and passionate.
This is what  I tell myself most of the time when getting high on blueberry swirl Ice cream.Yes,I’m a hopeless romantic,I do believe in fairy tales just not love at first sight but I do believe in meeting someone for the first time and knowing they’ll matter to you a great deal♥
“One day you’re going to meet someone and everything will make sense,maybe not immediately, but they’ll make you feel some type of way.Your mind will be at ease,your heart will feel like its found home…the love songs you rolled your eyes at will have you singing along and the poetry books will finally have meaning.All the heartbreaks,sleepless nights,rejections,unrequited crushes and the moments that made you doubt yourself and doubt love will dissolve when you meet that person and it will have you singing jason derulo’s will you marrrrrrrrrrry meeeee……you won’t question the validity of your feelings…it will be unquestionable!”
I know…..love,they say…maybe its overrated…
It isn’t all butterflies and magic though…Its a matter of progress and two hearts ready to connect no matter what how rough the ride could be.
Can I tell you something though,contrary to my previous blog ‘Be Somene’s Yes’ and part of everything I’ve just said…You don’t have to be in a relationship to be loved.I know all these couples force it down your throat until you choke on it.That girls aren’t  pretty unless they’re wanted,that boys aren’t men unless they are having sex.People aren’t lovable until they’re  dating someone.
As I said before, love isn’t all butterflies…as wonderful as romance is, and take this from a hopeless romantic..love isn’t the only magical thing…Friendships are also magical.Because I’ve seen and experienced friendships deeper than all these couples flaunting their love…I mean,I have Sharon♥Brandon♥Lynn♥…my happy ever after can always lie on them.
All these single fellas claim they are not loved,or the good ones are taken…Darling,you have so much more..Its so pretty cuddling and smooching with ‘The One’ but its also amazing to stop for ice cream and laugh your heart out with a bunch of friends.
Thing is,we’ve made everything about ‘the one’ but maybe ‘the one’ is just You♥♥

Be Someone’s Yes♥

Dear Darling,I know you’re scared.I know you think you might mess things up.I know you would rather take off and run the other way than  to let someone in,close enough to hurt you.

You don’t have to be so guarded…Well I know it takes a lot to be the type of person you are..cause literally I am you in a way…I know it scares you to be amongst the fragile old souls.
You are afraid of something you don’t have any control over cause when someone shows up,making you all happy,you have to reprogram yourself.
I know you question love as much as you believe in it,but you deserve it.So all the voices in your head should be silenced.
Truth is,you aren’t loving wrong,you are just loving the wrong people.Understand the difference.
You overanalyze things because you know at any moment,someone’s mind can change..because it happend before,so you try to prepare for it.You look for the warning signs so the heartbreak doesn’t come as a shock…lets just say you let people in but not close enough.
Everything will make sense someday…no facade,no nothing..
I know you wonder how much you exist in peoples lives..whether someone talks about you with a bunch of friends and gets all excited,whether someone thinks about you when a certain song plays..or  when  having coffee in their favourite mugs…or when putting on their favourite socks or sweaters..I know you really do wonder how much you cross someone’s mind…
I also know you’ve built a very great wall around your heart,an old village with just an ice cream shop,art and beautiful views  hoping they are the kind of places he or she would love to get lost in for a lifetime♥
Give love a chance and maybe it will be good to you.

I have been trying to write this blog for weeks now but I just could’nt mash it all up..I guess something has changed.while some seek solace in writing romantic letters,okay yes,theres a charm in writing love letters but I’m fascinated by carefully crafted thoughts and art…connecting deep or not at all.

Blurred emotions 💮

​So I was lying in bed thinking..its weird how so many thoughts Flood your mind at 1am.Maybe I’m just a thinker😂..is that even a thing…

I’m here wondering if I’m outa my mind….what can I say, it’s complicated 😂

We all have choices..we choose to believe what keeps us at ease…sometimes making major decisions ignoring your heart and shit… It’s tricky😛

listening to Avery Wilson’s if I have to….old is gold 🙌…Only one person knows how much I love this song…my sing along Owende saaiiiiii😂😂
So I bumped into this old pic and so many memories came flashing like those E-news udakus….damn,mama was one pretty lass… But what do you expect…this sexxy thing is her replica Y’know…its true when you lose someone you love you find yourself writing a lot.. At least thats what happened to me…. I’m sure I could have committed suicide..God knows I thought of it..But we all have lost someone we love and y’all know how it feels….crying a river isn’t enough…but I’m sure if you had to, to bring them back, you’d do it.. 

Ow well…. I lost my best friend,my sister,my mom….I didn’t just lose one person…i was terrified…i didn’t know how to live, I still don’t know how to, cause she had always been there😂Then one day some doc just decides to tell me she was gone😂😂 you can imagine.I could have died, I could have been in an asylum right now..but I didn’t….i had to be a grown up at 17 Navenye I’m baby’ish😥…i was now a mother and a sister…a wife too😂😂 forget the conjugal Rights and shit 😂😂😂

But I had to. 

So dating me gets a whole lot complicated ….

It’s okay you know, everyone hurts and everyone has their ugliness….its also okay to stay up staring blankly at the ceiling with tears clouding your eyes…. 

They say fall in love with an old soul, cause an old soul remembers every single detail of even how your mouth twitches when you want to smile. 

Broken crayons are fragile,they still colour though, a dreamer knows some dreams are impossible, but still dreams anyways

I could be hard to deal with, so sticking around is an option 😂 I’d be more surprised if you stayed…. ButI’m no coffee drinker, but I lose sleep just thinking of you.. You distract me, but I’m distracted without you…vibes yoh😂😂I’m finding a reason to stand still again…. Cause I’m learning to trust again.Forever is a lot to promise, but you dying is not an option 🌚🌚 even if it’s the ‘Jesus coming soon’..🐾

Ow well, 

This is ‘for your eyes only’😂

Everyone suddenly loves Cole, so why not 😂👆

Truth is, you must face your demons….most angels have scars…there’s no pretty soul…unless we are talking about that nigga Jesus❤

But until you face what you fear most,you can never see life in a different light☕
Well my heart is still torn from facing my worst fears…its taunting and tormenting… holding on to  memories but broken at the same time…its not easy but I guess it still serves its purpose😊
A good friend inspired me to write this,and I do hope it inspires more than saddens.

 It’s been 21 months since I lost the one person I loved the most and losing her put most priorities into perspective…

My pinnacle of happiness ❤

My lasagna and I, her Garfield ❤

Anyway

Love more, laugh more❤

Embrace all that comes❤